One of my favorite movies (and books) is Hidden Figures. The story of the mathematicians who calculated trajectories at NASA to put a man in orbit, and eventually to send men to the moon. These brilliant, strong, brave women are such an inspiration to me, even 60 years later, as I navigate being one of the only women in an engineering section of a government research facility. Did I mention they were black women doing this incredible work at NASA during a time of segregation, and when few women worked outside the home? I re-watched the movie this week and something hit me - a scene that had given me goosebumps on previous watchings brought me to tears this time.
To set the scene: A young Katherine Johnson is excelling in her elementary school math classes. Her teachers, so impressed with her mind but knowing that in White Sulfur Springs, West Virginia, where she lives, the only school for black children anyplace nearby ends at the 6th grade. The teachers decide to speak to Katherine’s parents about sending her to a high school in another town to continue developing her talent. Her parents are surprised and a little confused, saying “But Katherine’s only in the 6th grade…” It goes without saying in the scene that even though Katherine’s parents want to give her the very best opportunities, money is tight. The teachers explain that they’ve pooled a little money together for the family, and once they get there, her tuition will be paid by a scholarship. “All you have to do is get there.” As her parents hesitate, then nod in agreement, one of the teachers says, in a tone that feels like prophecy:
“You HAVE to go. You have to see what she becomes.”
It gives me chills to watch that. Knowing what she would become!! Knowing she would go on to perform the calculations to send John Glenn orbiting the earth, to send Neil Armstrong stepping onto the surface of the moon. Knowing she would be an American hero and an integral player during one of the most exciting and innovative seasons in history - the space race.
Beyond the life and achievements of Katherine Johnson, another reason that line struck me so much was the broader idea of her family “HAVING to go, having to go to see what SHE becomes”. What if each woman could hear that when they’re contemplating a new opportunity or ignoring a nagging dream they’ve held onto quietly for years?
What if a voice of authority could speak to you and say “You HAVE to go! You HAVE to see what you become!!!”
What if the things that make your heart go pitter patter aren’t supposed to stay hidden inside your heart and mind? What if they’re meant to come out and change the world?
Ok, now pause for just one second. What is your knee-jerk, gut reaction to the thought of going for it and seeing what YOU become? What doubt pops up automatically whenever you start to contemplate a bigger life? I don’t know what excuse has reared its ugly head, but I do know that it’s lame.
Katherine Johnson had every reason to doubt she could change the world - in a time of segregation, being from a small town, and being a woman in a time when few women worked outside the home during peace time. But those reasons to doubt didn’t stop her from going and striving to do excellent work that she was passionate about. We know from accounts of her time at NASA that she treated herself with the same respect she showed others, expecting equal treatment to that of her white male peers just as she was willing to offer it to them.
I want you to treat yourself with the same respect you would treat others with. I want you to dream big dreams for yourself with as much enthusiasm as you might dream them for your friends, your children, or the seniors graduating high school any given year.
I can be so full of self doubt, and so ready to accept less for myself than my God created me for. I let fear govern my decisions more than I even realize, I’m sure, or procrastinate on pursuing opportunities, thinking “that one can be for someone else. I’ll catch the next wave” without really intending to ever take a step out into the unknown. But this week I’m trying to remind myself to GO. I HAVE to go. God didn’t give me these abilities, opportunities, or passions by accident. Who knows what they could be intended for? How can I find out unless I go??? I HAVE to go. I HAVE to see what I become. YOU have to go. You have to see what YOU become!
Thursday, September 20, 2018
Friday, September 15, 2017
We Cannot Be Shaken
I'm an engineer. I'm also a woman. Today at work in the machine shop, a man I had known for all of 30 minutes said some rude things that caught me off guard - Asking me why I wasn't married - how that must mean I don't want to be a mom - and didn't I realize my biological clock was ticking? Ouch, and totally inappropriate.
I was too surprised in the moment to respond with much else besides "I do want to be a mom. Just haven't met the right person to marry yet." I wanted to run away. Or dig a hole and hide in it. But we were in the middle of a job that wasn't yet finished, and I was the one who had come to him for help today, so that wasn't really an option.
When it was finally, blessedly, time to go home for the day I could finally acknowledge how that had made me feel. I felt so uncomfortable!!!! So uneasy, and confused as to why I *believed* that I should have had a better explanation to him as to why I'm working instead of having babies. I couldn't stop running over and over the interaction in my head thinking of better justifications for my current existence. As if my worth was in the hands of this disapproving machinist.
At home, instead of crawl under the covers or numb my brain with TV, I decided this evening that I should actually figure out these yucky feelings and why I was so unsettled by this interaction.
First - I think it hurt so much because I really DO want to be a mom. This man assumed that a female engineer must be putting career first and putting off marriage and children. It implied that the only explanation for me not having these things I pray for is - oh, right, I just don't want them!
Second - It hurt because I am afraid of missing my chance at marriage, and at motherhood. This man spoke the exact words of my fears out loud in the bluntest way possible. And the undercurrent was "what's wrong with you?"
That brings me to the thoughts that came once I calmed down and prayed. Remember things that are TRUE about me - I'm created by God in His image. Jesus gave his life and blood to redeem me, to ransom my life from the pit, so that I can be with God forever. God is the only one powerful enough to put labels on me that stick. His label on me is "beloved", "forgiven", "child of God". The machinists labels for me (and even my OWN labels for me) don't get to stick.
Standing on the firm foundation of God's truth is like standing on a flat, wide concrete slab with good metal guard rails. Incredibly firm footing. And the machinist today, and the way my scared insecure brain ran away with his rude comments, is like someone throwing... sponges. It's like someone throwing little sponges at you while you stand firm on a concrete slab. It's annoying to be sure, but it's weak - pathetic even - compared to the foundation you stand on.
Don't forget where you stand, who has the power to label you and who doesn't, and that hurtful words - even the ones that speak to our deepest fears - are like little sponges trying to knock you off your concrete platform.
Thank you God for your truth and the firm foundation it provides us. Amen.
I was too surprised in the moment to respond with much else besides "I do want to be a mom. Just haven't met the right person to marry yet." I wanted to run away. Or dig a hole and hide in it. But we were in the middle of a job that wasn't yet finished, and I was the one who had come to him for help today, so that wasn't really an option.
When it was finally, blessedly, time to go home for the day I could finally acknowledge how that had made me feel. I felt so uncomfortable!!!! So uneasy, and confused as to why I *believed* that I should have had a better explanation to him as to why I'm working instead of having babies. I couldn't stop running over and over the interaction in my head thinking of better justifications for my current existence. As if my worth was in the hands of this disapproving machinist.
At home, instead of crawl under the covers or numb my brain with TV, I decided this evening that I should actually figure out these yucky feelings and why I was so unsettled by this interaction.
First - I think it hurt so much because I really DO want to be a mom. This man assumed that a female engineer must be putting career first and putting off marriage and children. It implied that the only explanation for me not having these things I pray for is - oh, right, I just don't want them!
Second - It hurt because I am afraid of missing my chance at marriage, and at motherhood. This man spoke the exact words of my fears out loud in the bluntest way possible. And the undercurrent was "what's wrong with you?"
That brings me to the thoughts that came once I calmed down and prayed. Remember things that are TRUE about me - I'm created by God in His image. Jesus gave his life and blood to redeem me, to ransom my life from the pit, so that I can be with God forever. God is the only one powerful enough to put labels on me that stick. His label on me is "beloved", "forgiven", "child of God". The machinists labels for me (and even my OWN labels for me) don't get to stick.
Standing on the firm foundation of God's truth is like standing on a flat, wide concrete slab with good metal guard rails. Incredibly firm footing. And the machinist today, and the way my scared insecure brain ran away with his rude comments, is like someone throwing... sponges. It's like someone throwing little sponges at you while you stand firm on a concrete slab. It's annoying to be sure, but it's weak - pathetic even - compared to the foundation you stand on.
Don't forget where you stand, who has the power to label you and who doesn't, and that hurtful words - even the ones that speak to our deepest fears - are like little sponges trying to knock you off your concrete platform.
Thank you God for your truth and the firm foundation it provides us. Amen.
Friday, October 23, 2015
What Nanowires Teach Us About Heavenly Perspective
"For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory that is to be revealed to us."
Nanotechnology is pretty awesome. We can engineer tiny little structures that are too small to see, yet they are having huge impact in areas like solar technology, catalysis, and miniaturized sensors. In other words, nanostructures are small but important.
Things like nanotechnology come to mind whenever I think of the idea of having heavenly perspective on life. Looking at life in a zoomed-out, view, the way God would see it, is kind of like looking at a nano-structured material. The features are so small! The bumps and valleys, obstacles and challenges are oh-so-tiny even under a microscope. So too it is that in our lives, maintaining a heavenly perspective allows us to take a figurative step back, and see our present sufferings and trials in the bigger context of God's story.
In Romans 8:18, Paul reminds us that our present sufferings are not worthy to be compared to the glory that is to be revealed in us. This is kind of like saying that a nanowire-sized obstacle is not worth comparing to something like the Eiffel tower or the Grand Canyon - things that are truly glorious and marveous, and so much bigger than a nano-wire. So much bigger and more glorious in fact, that comparing the two seems downright silly.
Paul isn't telling us that life is easy, or denying the existence of suffering. He's writing to a persecuted population. In keeping with the nano analogy, we are probably pico-meter-sized humans, to whom a nanowire is a vast insurmountable mountainous challenge we face in life. But Paul is asking us to consider the suffering we endure in the present, and to widen our minds and consider how much more glorious is the future that awaits us.
This future glory is orders of magnitude away from our present experiences, so much so that if this were an engineering calculation of some sort, the present sufferings would fall off the radar. Nobody has bothered to measure the depth of the Grand Canyon in nanometers, because its size is so much larger that those units aren't even a useful comparison.
So whatever struggle you face today, know that God is with you. We know God is good and we know we can trust Him. He proved His love for us by sending Jesus to live and to die in our place. Thus we can face life's challenges with confidence and hope for a future that is not even worth comparing to the present struggles.
-Romans 8:18 [NASB]
Photo credit: Mark Brongersma, Stanford
Nanotechnology is pretty awesome. We can engineer tiny little structures that are too small to see, yet they are having huge impact in areas like solar technology, catalysis, and miniaturized sensors. In other words, nanostructures are small but important.
Things like nanotechnology come to mind whenever I think of the idea of having heavenly perspective on life. Looking at life in a zoomed-out, view, the way God would see it, is kind of like looking at a nano-structured material. The features are so small! The bumps and valleys, obstacles and challenges are oh-so-tiny even under a microscope. So too it is that in our lives, maintaining a heavenly perspective allows us to take a figurative step back, and see our present sufferings and trials in the bigger context of God's story.
In Romans 8:18, Paul reminds us that our present sufferings are not worthy to be compared to the glory that is to be revealed in us. This is kind of like saying that a nanowire-sized obstacle is not worth comparing to something like the Eiffel tower or the Grand Canyon - things that are truly glorious and marveous, and so much bigger than a nano-wire. So much bigger and more glorious in fact, that comparing the two seems downright silly.
Paul isn't telling us that life is easy, or denying the existence of suffering. He's writing to a persecuted population. In keeping with the nano analogy, we are probably pico-meter-sized humans, to whom a nanowire is a vast insurmountable mountainous challenge we face in life. But Paul is asking us to consider the suffering we endure in the present, and to widen our minds and consider how much more glorious is the future that awaits us.
This future glory is orders of magnitude away from our present experiences, so much so that if this were an engineering calculation of some sort, the present sufferings would fall off the radar. Nobody has bothered to measure the depth of the Grand Canyon in nanometers, because its size is so much larger that those units aren't even a useful comparison.
So whatever struggle you face today, know that God is with you. We know God is good and we know we can trust Him. He proved His love for us by sending Jesus to live and to die in our place. Thus we can face life's challenges with confidence and hope for a future that is not even worth comparing to the present struggles.
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Encouragement from Romans 8
"For I am convinced that neither algebraic error codes nor machine learning, neither conference abstracts nor image processing, neither lack of sleep nor general crankiness will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
-Modern "grad-school-ese" translation of Romans 8:38-39
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